So I have thought sometimes that I was the world's worst mom...but I never really felt it until this weekend. I had to look at my child and ask him "who the hell are you?...cause you aren't the boy I raised!" In that moment I felt like 20 years of parenting were blown out the window. He was cruel and hateful and I felt like I was seeing my son for the first time...and I didn't like him...yet I am the one responsible for who he has become. I laid the ground work. I am to blame.

so the creepazoid who stole our ladders and money earlier this year stopped by the other day to let us know he had seen some unsavory guy creeping around our house and just wanted to give us a heads up. Really? More unsavory than yourself?

Funny thing was Chris called me down from a nap I was taking with Andreas so when I came to the door and was talking to the guy I didn't have my glasses on. I knew the voice sounded familiar...couln't place it..... and I couldn't see the face at all. He was just a blur. Guy went on and on about this creepy guy he saw at our house and how they had things stolen from their house and it would be wise for us to put up cameras and the like. When I mentioned we had our ladders stolen he said "yeah that was my partner" and I about hit the floor.

Chris was laughing hysterically because I simply had no idea who I was talking to until he said those words. I am blind as a bat. Ran him off real quick after that. I thought it was some concerned citizen. Should have known better from the skid row denziens (as I like to call them-Jenn lives in White Chest, Amanda is in the Ghetto, and we live on skid row).

So fast-forward to later that night when I vaguely hear an alarm going off. I am sound asleep and think at first in my dreamy mind that it is a car alarm...no they don't sound that way...a house alarm from next door....nope the houses next door are all vacant...no alarms.....shit that is MY alarm! I shot up in bed just in time to hear nothing....it had stopped. Thinking I had only been dreaming I lay back down and just drifted off again when I hear the Beep Beeep Beep of the alarm being reset as if someone reset it when leaving. This time I was wide wake.

The door creaked like a banshee's wail surely whomever was downstairs would hear. If not then the god damned squeaking floor boards would tip them off. I listen harder....nothing....tip toe a little further out then .....RINNNNNNNNNNNNNG the damned cell phone made me jump out of my skin...of course it wasn't really a ring but some damned voice blaring out of the darkness in a ringtone Chris had selected. The voice on the phone itself was far more forboading. It was Alarm Force our security company who told me "The motion sensor in the living room was activated....are you alright?"

Suddenly I was transported into every cheesy 1980's horror flick I had ever watched.....It was like hearing "have you checked the children?" in that creep raspy I know you are going to jump out covered in blood and hack my still beating heart from my chest.

I panicked and ran back to the bedroom to get Chris.

Now, I was in a house when I was 9 or 10 that was broken into. Some perv neighbor thought I was alone in the house but was quickly run off by my teenage brothers with hockey sticks and baseball bats. So, this was particularly scarey for me. The alarm force guy is all "do you want to go down stairs and see what set the alarm off?" and I was all "aren't you supposed to protect me and NOT encourage me to go face an armed bandit breaking into my home?"

Chris went down to check. Mainly because the house was incredibly quiet....a little too quiet...for me at least. Alarm force had reset the alarm (that was the beeping I had heard)so Chris unset it and went aorund the house to look. We finally decided that the motion sensor was faulty and that the cat had set it off. We got a replacement next day.

But I could not sleep for a very long time after that and Chris had to go to work at 1AM so I was alone with the 3 year old after that. Gah!

All this took several minutes and the "police had been dispatched" but they certainly weren't very concerened if we were able to be frightened out of our wits and go down stairs and outside to check throughout the entire house and the exterior and they still hadn't shown up before we told alarm force to go ahead and cancel them. I hope noone ever breaks in because I am sure I will be a dead little lump before the police ever actually make it to our door.

I guess they were busy writing tickets.

so I fixed the washer

fixed the giant gaping hole in the bathroom floor

reinstalled the commode

did a bunch of laundry

cleaned house

sent Andreas to the zoo dressed as beeteljuice...(by the way cut as the dickens I will have to post pictures)

learned my fav brother is in the hospital with a blood clot in his leg and that my evil sister was supposed to tell me and didn't....well...because she is evil

and now I am ready for bed


goodnight moon!